still here

I drug my sick bottom end into our local urgi care and they wouldnt treat me. Sent me to the emergency room. Two huge bags of fluid 2 injections through the I.V for the nausea and they sent me home. The blood work showed its probably a virus.

I am so tired and blah but at least the nausea is gone.

Uggghh

Today was to be a busy day S had therapy for some anxiety issues and then an orthadonist visit (the braces are off) Well I havent moved at all all night I have been sick to my stomach bad sick.

Her therapist came out and got her and I have slept all day and would just like to curl up and die but that would require me feeling so much better. Because I am sick I hurt and dizzy so I get grief from people when I ask them to go get stuff from the store.

Not my husband but my brother and my son. I hope they catch this bug and I can be mean and hateful to them (no not really).

Wow I took a blogger break.

Wow I took a blog break there has been things going on in my life that I didn't want to put into words. Lots of changes have been going on here.

1. I am going to school classes start Aug 30th I am so excited this has been a long time dream I am going for my masters in Social work with the goal of working with abused women.

2. Mike is working not what he wants to be doing but its a job and this is a good thing first time in my 18 years of marriage I was wondering if this marriage was going to last or If I was going to be in jail for murder.

3. My mom almost died I found that our journey is not over and I need to forgive her for some issues and move on. That being said I will guard my heart and keep my emotions close so not to get hurt.

4. Life is good my paxil has been reduced I cant believe that I have came so far since my mom in law passing. It amazes me that I have came so far and for that I have her to thank.

And I promise no more blogging breaks for 3 months but life maybe get a little busy with school.

I want to scream but I wont cause it wont do anygood.

Oh my goodness my family has totally lost their minds and is trying to take me down with them.

This is going to be a rant possibly a long one or not. I am annoyed with my husband its not his fault totally but some of it is first time in 17 years I thought about leaving for the night.

My brother is grumbling at me cause I havent exactly been kind to Mike but its hard being frustrated with him and the lack of a job and not a lot of income and a lot of bills.

Then I had a conversation with my mom tonight that just topped everything off. She is mad cause I didnt come over Mothers day I told her a couple weeks ago that I didnt really want to do anything for Mothers day as I wanted to be alone and mourn the 1st year anniversary of my mom in laws death yeah I know insensitive then I tried to take flowers over and she had a fit cause I spent the money on her.

Then she told me that S is lazy and we are allowing this to happen cause we dont make the kids go over and stay. Then tells me not to be mad then she starts in about she doesnt understand why I want to go to school that I will loose my SSI hmmmmmm mom maybe I can be a functioning member of society.

Tomorrow I am going over to spend the day with my bestest friend in the world.

Ummm cant think of a title

Well I have applied to Edinboro College please cross your fingers I get accepted. I have been wanting to blog about my vacation which was awesome and I need to repeat it next year but I might be in school so I may not be able to repeat it.

2nd Sunday it will be a year since my mom in law left us I have learned so much from her passing I need to do a blog about my feeling on that which are better then what I thought.

But life is so busy right now and new adventures keep popping up.

Granny squares and drs

I have a new hobby its crocheting granny squares love them and will post pictures along with vacation pictures.

I have the okay from my family dr to pursue school he thinks it would be great for me. No gym classes though he said there should be alternatives I hope so.

I seen I will have to take a creative writing class and a math class its scary I will probably start in the fall. 5 years for a masters Mike said I should plan on getting my doctorite I told him lets do the bachelor and masters first I will be graduating with S at some point lol. 5 years of school Oh my gosh am I nuts?

Two things one huge one not so huge.

Two days before my 38th birthday as I lay awake last night not being able to sleep and thinking I want to explore more of life. I made a decision I am going to check into my local college in Edinboro and see what they can offer me. I want to be a social worker as long as I can remember thats what I wanted to do. I am hoping that they and I can work around this little annoyance of the md. Please pray for me that I am doing the sensible thing.

The other thing is I have been asked to start a blog about my childhood and the things I experienced. I dont want to bring all that back but maybe someone could get hope and help from it. I am not sure I want to do this. I found out some time ago that Terry is dying and my mom wanted me to go make peace with him. I have no desire to make peace with him. I told my mom that I would probably just help him die faster. Therapy and just not thinking about that has been a huge help to me and I am in a good place in life. I just dont know.