Happiness what is all about?

This is going to be a jumbled mess so many thoughts and emotions have been put into this thought. My friend Caroline at findingwhereibelong.blogspot.com/ wrote on her blog 7 (I think) ways to be happy and I read it and said yes I can relate to them and understand the reasons behind what they say.

I have related to all of them but as you know I have struggled this year with happiness not that I dont want to be happy but with all the news we have heaped and heaped upon is happiness is hard to find or is it?

We have had several good things happen to us this year Mike graduating school,S making honor roll all year and passing 6th grade and J and the work he has done in the community and band.

But in all these happy events we see someone missing or someones as there has been more then one death and death is so hard to overcome but I am determined to overcome it as I was to a therapist today to see if we would be a fit I told her I am so done with 2009 and she asked why and I told her and she said you dont have to have a News Years Party you can have a good riddence party which is a good idea.


I encourage the happiness to come back I so miss it although its present in little things the big problems overshadow it.

As I continue to find a counselor or therapist that I like and will take my secondary insurance the search continues but know this I will be looking for the happiness out there and lets hope it gets better and better.

Keep plugging along

Well last Saturday didnt go as planned I had hoped to get my drivers license but I ran over a curb dang evil curbs anyway being in my way. Grrrrrrrrr

So what does one do well she cries then gets over it and schedules another test and then this ones a little closer then 6 weeks. My friend Caroline can understand my frustrations but one has to go and try again till she gets it and I swear chocolate chip cookies and a $20 spot wouldnt hurt.

So here is no hitting curbs barrels or cones. Mike has a physical for a D.O.T physical Wednesday and hopefully a job interview after that. This unemployment thing is becoming a pita. That is all for now hope everyone is happy and doing well.

No good news

Mike had a job interview over the phone and it was so promising they told him he should probably pack and get ready to go to orientation and they would be calling back after they did a backround check and where to pick up his bus ticket.

Well they never called so he called today and they rejected him why did they reject them you may ask. 20 years he was cited for hit and run he let a girl drive on a permit and she hit an ex boyfriends mail box and left the scene of the accident. Its come back to bite him on the behind.

So keep sending us good thoughts that someone out there will want him to drive for them.

Hmmmmmmmmmm

I have some news but I cant share just yet. Stay tuned Chester is out of the hospital and settled into the nursing home room.

There was a robbery in my moms house this time they know who did it. The person stole my brothers safe with his medicine and guns and the guy used a hatchet to get in this has to end.

That's all for now stay tuned for news coming.

Pictures

Here are some pictures I promised snow, tiggs, peaches.


In other news we have been exposed to Swine flu yaaaaaay not. James teacher had it. And in some good news my neighbor Chester is being sprung from the hospital tomorrow and he is going to a nursing home for the time being I am staying away from him though the last thing he needs is the flu.

Hope yall enjoy the pictures and isnt Tiggs a fat cat lol.

forgiveness and patience

Its not good news my wonderful sweet old neighbor man Chester has throat cancer we are shocked and saddened all at the same time Cancer is never fair and this just sucks big donkey toes. He is choosing not to fight this he just doesent have the fight left in him.

It snowed the other day and yes Caroline I have pictures but please forgive me for not posting them just yet its been crazy here again. Please be patient with me they will get posted.

Thats all hope everyone is having a good day.

I've been missing

I have been a bad blogger but I just needed a couple days to process news that we got well not we but Mike I encouraged him to try for this company and we have done everything they asked but it was never good enough he got his blood pressure down he got his blood sugar down but its not good enough they want 6.3 a1c which is hard for a diabetic to achieve. So Mike went to his second choice who told him that they were not hiring students right now.

So plan 3 which isnt really a plan but a hope but I guess its good to have hope. In the other news my 85 year old neighbor was rushed to the hospital Sunday morning for an extreme asthma attack they got him stable and sent him home although they would have liked him to stay.

Monday we did his shopping and he wasnt home we figured he was at the doctor so I called his friend who takes him to his appts. so we put the groceries in our fridge and waited for her or him to call us back and she did they had to rush him back to the hospital for what they thought was another asthma attack.

His friend called back to say they would be keeping him over night and if we could hold onto his groceries that would be helpful so that is what we planned on doing. Well she called later in the evening in tears they found a obstruction in his throat and was rushing him into surgery for a trach so he is in ICU doing well but its just been so scary and so heartbreaking he has no family in this area so we are on cat and mail detail and we will go visit him tomorrow. He is doing well but he is 85 years old.

So I didnt want to whine about life right now its not the end of the world but dang we have had enough bad news to last a lifetime.

And a personal note to Caroline I tried an everything bagel and now I am addicted thank you very much ;)

Going to do some bragging

Sorry Caroline but I am going to talk about Mikes Ac1 if you dont want to read I understand.

Mike got vampired (his word not mine) yesterday for all those not sure what vampired means it is he had blood drawn and he got the results today our Drs Nurse called us with the results cause we were anxious cause his last Ac1 in May was 9. I guess before I go any further I should explain that Ac1 is a three month blood glucose reading.

Its good news his new reading is 7.3 almost normal for a diabetic the .3 might hurt him a little bit. So all the test results that his company wanted is in normal range and we have worked hard to get there coming up with different meals cutting almost all the pasta out of our diet getting more veggies in. Making whole wheat bread and buying whole grain wheat bread.

No sodas more crystal light and more walking and he is taking cinnamon with his medicine. Yaaaaaay

Lost in a book and dr update.

When I was little I would escape into Laura Ingalls Wilder books and get lost for hours I got lost in Harry Potters world I have visited Stephen Kings world ( hes a little messed up) but a great writer. Nora Roberts and Debbie Macomber's world also I love to read and I have passed that onto the kids who have visited Dr Seuss and Eric Carles world.

One of my favorite books is Where The Wild Things Are and I want to see the movie although I am usually saddened that the movie is nothing like the book but we shall see. I stopped at our local library to pick up some books and was speaking to the libirian she suggested Beverly Lewis and her books so soon I will be lost in the Amish world that I do know a little about and I look forward to entering this world.

The Dr. raised my Paxil by 10 mg and also raised the muscle relaxer mgs and frequency that I take it instead of waiting till I hurt really bad we are going to try and relax the muscles before they start hurting which sounds good to me. Mike is cleared to go to work and should hear tomorrow when he is to call the company that he is going to work for.

His shop choose to keep him laid off and give his spot to someone else which is fine with us and he will be still able to collect unemployment.

Blah

That is my new favorite word blah it says it all I have a drs appt Monday and I am going to ask him to up my Paxil. I seen some lady at walmart that looked just like my mil and the tears started. I am dreading Mike leaving I know its the right thing for him and our family but I dont like it but I am not telling him that cause I dont want him to feel guilty.

I am getting grief from my mom over the telling his shop he isnt staying she thinks we turned down a great offer we didnt as they will be laying off again in a month.

My muscle relaxer isnt working as well as it should be. My dishwasher is falling apart I love my dishwasher cant imagine life without it a tad dramatic yes I know.

I am still waiting for the okay from Highmark blue shield blue cross to okay my and the drs request for a therapist stupid insurance rules.

I need somewhere tropical non rain climate any ideas.

Hmmm and blah

No call from the shop today so we arent sure what that means.

Blah it has rained so much I am considering building an Ark. We are still sick and S is scheduled for her flu shot not H1N1 but seasonal flu our dr isnt giving out H1n1 shots yet.

That is all for now.

Someone has a great big huge sense of humor.

I am not a religous person my brother refers to me as a heathen but whatever. I do believe there is a God I just dont believe that he personally cares for me. But who ever is in charge up there needs to stop picking on us.

The latest scoop here is Mike was called back to work. I hear y'all say but that's great but not really because he would be laid off in a month. Mike said I will come back but I am not staying and the human resource manager said what do you mean your not staying and Mike told her that he has his cdl license and will be driving truck soon. She informed him that she will have to talk to the plant manager I bet they are going to say he refused and pull what is left of his unemployment.

An update also

Mike is feeling better me and S not so much drs appts Monday I see antibiotics in our future my nephew has strep yaaaaaay not.

That is it for now I will blog tomorrow about the call that will come.