It has been a wonderful day here and I have done nothing put in the contacts this morning came downstairs took care of some paperwork for our cobra insurance.
Then it started raining I had Buford on one side of me and Tiggs on my lap and I slept almost all day I probably wont sleep tonight Mike started supper I love him more and more every day lol. I love the sound of a soft steady rain although I might have to construct an ark for all the rain that is coming. Erie Pa is flooded pretty bad.
My mom called and Mike told her I was napping and he wasnt disturbing me and I havent called her back yet. How has your day been?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
GGGGRRRRRRRRR
I think I have figured out at least 75% of where my stress is coming from. I thought it would be from my kids you know they are entering teen years and I dont think its going to be like the terrible twos!!
The source is my mom when she calls and says oh by the way do you have any money for me and I said umm no I dont have money for a gallon of milk that is getting low from the above mentioned teens. She says to me if I dont have 2000 dollars by the 2nd of July my house is going to be up for sherriffs sale. I say I dont have any money and then she starts to say its us kids responsibility to pay her back taxes and I bit and asked her how she figured this.
She made sacrafices. I said oh and she said you remember Terry. Yes mom I remember Terry I remember begging you not to let him come back but you told me he was cause you loved him and you needed him. Untill the next time he beat you up. She had to be a mom after dad died I dont remember that either I remember getting in trouble cause I cooked dinner wrong or my brothers went to school with mismatched socks on.
Grrr she makes me so mad sometimes.
The source is my mom when she calls and says oh by the way do you have any money for me and I said umm no I dont have money for a gallon of milk that is getting low from the above mentioned teens. She says to me if I dont have 2000 dollars by the 2nd of July my house is going to be up for sherriffs sale. I say I dont have any money and then she starts to say its us kids responsibility to pay her back taxes and I bit and asked her how she figured this.
She made sacrafices. I said oh and she said you remember Terry. Yes mom I remember Terry I remember begging you not to let him come back but you told me he was cause you loved him and you needed him. Untill the next time he beat you up. She had to be a mom after dad died I dont remember that either I remember getting in trouble cause I cooked dinner wrong or my brothers went to school with mismatched socks on.
Grrr she makes me so mad sometimes.
Better
Today is a better day I am not hurting like I was yesterday which in its self is a blessing and I am getting better at putting the contacts in didnt drop them at all today.
Mike got a call from the school he is interested in and that seems to be coming along also which is a load off my mind now if I could get rid of the other 6987 million things in there.
I came downstairs from the shower and getting dressed to find a splenda bag and powered white stuff shredded between the living and dining room it would be less frustrating if she would eat the splenda instead of just shredding the bag. I told J platoon leader the other day they should start a dog boot camp Pepper will be the first signed up.
One more thing to add my contacts are in as in the eye drs office ordered them Friday afternoon and called me this morning to tell me they have them. Will pick them up Wensday.
Hope everyone is having a good day and if there is anyone out there that would like a neurotic counter surfing evil dog. Leave your number
Mike got a call from the school he is interested in and that seems to be coming along also which is a load off my mind now if I could get rid of the other 6987 million things in there.
I came downstairs from the shower and getting dressed to find a splenda bag and powered white stuff shredded between the living and dining room it would be less frustrating if she would eat the splenda instead of just shredding the bag. I told J platoon leader the other day they should start a dog boot camp Pepper will be the first signed up.
One more thing to add my contacts are in as in the eye drs office ordered them Friday afternoon and called me this morning to tell me they have them. Will pick them up Wensday.
Hope everyone is having a good day and if there is anyone out there that would like a neurotic counter surfing evil dog. Leave your number
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Weepy
I woke up hurting about 10 hurting really bad arms and legs and back felt like they were on fire I used the restroom and laid back down and slept till 1 when Mike woke me up. I didnt even attempt to put my contacts in. I have been weepy today everything makes me cry even the stupid verizon commericals.
Then I read my friend Lyns blog that spoke to me more then it knows but I couldnt leave that in her comments cause I was on the verge of heavy tears so there is two reasons I am blogging about this first is to thank Lyn for the words that moved me and second to reflect and expand on what she said and I have one or two readers that dont read her blog.
Her theory in a nutshell is you have to own a situation before life gets back to normal and this takes about a year. People have said to me she was your mother in law not your mom you should be over this I am sure if you ask me next year at this time my heart will still be broken and I will still miss her terribly for the rest of my days she was a very special person that I was lucky to have come in my life and compelty change it.
The other thing that we have to own is Mike no longer has a job we have 3 months of unemployment and he is trying to get training but waiting for other people to get their crap together and get the funding going. Its scary what happens if the unemployment runs out.
I have a drs appt in the middle of July I am so tempted to ask him for anti depressives but then I think I am not depressed its just we keep getting hit with bad news or more stress. Drama at my moms that I dont want the kids involved in and she keeps pressing for the kids she cant understand the concept of keeping them safe which is mine and Mikes job and we will continue to do it.
I wanted to ask Lyn what happens if you dont want to own the situation but I didnt and I have been thinking about this all day. It doesnt matter if you want to own the situation or not it is what it is. You cant change it you can say it sucks and its unfair and throw a temper tantrum if you want but the situation hasnt changed and I am thinking so I have to change the way I react to the situations. I am sure the tears are still going to fall and I am sure I will miss her till the end of time. But instead of crying and thinking this is unfair I am going to try to direct my energys into doing something good so I can look back on this in a 1 year and look at all the good deeds I have done in her name. First one will be donating blood if they will take it.
Second I will help my community as much as I can.
The unemployment situation I am just going to have to let it go and hope that stuff comes together for the training and let Mike deal with that.
Again Lyn thank you very much for publishing your theory it has helped in more ways then you know.
Then I read my friend Lyns blog that spoke to me more then it knows but I couldnt leave that in her comments cause I was on the verge of heavy tears so there is two reasons I am blogging about this first is to thank Lyn for the words that moved me and second to reflect and expand on what she said and I have one or two readers that dont read her blog.
Her theory in a nutshell is you have to own a situation before life gets back to normal and this takes about a year. People have said to me she was your mother in law not your mom you should be over this I am sure if you ask me next year at this time my heart will still be broken and I will still miss her terribly for the rest of my days she was a very special person that I was lucky to have come in my life and compelty change it.
The other thing that we have to own is Mike no longer has a job we have 3 months of unemployment and he is trying to get training but waiting for other people to get their crap together and get the funding going. Its scary what happens if the unemployment runs out.
I have a drs appt in the middle of July I am so tempted to ask him for anti depressives but then I think I am not depressed its just we keep getting hit with bad news or more stress. Drama at my moms that I dont want the kids involved in and she keeps pressing for the kids she cant understand the concept of keeping them safe which is mine and Mikes job and we will continue to do it.
I wanted to ask Lyn what happens if you dont want to own the situation but I didnt and I have been thinking about this all day. It doesnt matter if you want to own the situation or not it is what it is. You cant change it you can say it sucks and its unfair and throw a temper tantrum if you want but the situation hasnt changed and I am thinking so I have to change the way I react to the situations. I am sure the tears are still going to fall and I am sure I will miss her till the end of time. But instead of crying and thinking this is unfair I am going to try to direct my energys into doing something good so I can look back on this in a 1 year and look at all the good deeds I have done in her name. First one will be donating blood if they will take it.
Second I will help my community as much as I can.
The unemployment situation I am just going to have to let it go and hope that stuff comes together for the training and let Mike deal with that.
Again Lyn thank you very much for publishing your theory it has helped in more ways then you know.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Bread Paddle
The bread machine paddle has been found and hugs and kisses have been given to the princess that found it. The culprit has been fingered and as soon as the dog dna comes back she will be found guilty of counter surfing and stealing the beloved paddle and will go to bed without her milk bone. Any one want to guess who the dog is.
Annoyed
I am in an annoyed mood today I am trying not to be but several things have just bugged the heck out of me today.
1. The 8 year old neighbor boy that has been here several times wanting J to go up and play we tried to explain to him that J just got home and we want to spend time and Pepper hasnt been walked. Finally we just gave up and let J go at least Pepper stopped barking.
2. S and her telling me no I so want to smack her mouth but I havent. Why do kids think its okay to tell parents no when it comes to chores?
3. Money and loss of Mikes job I have no control over this but it still annoys me while we are talking about jobs and loss of people on strike annoy me to dont they realize how lucky they are to have a job.
4. Mom in law I know that situation cant be helped but it seems so unfair that she isnt here she was suppose to see her grandkids graduate highschool, babies being born and come out and play wii with us after the cast came off.
5. Peppers barking I suspect now that the neighborhood brat is done knocking on the door she is done grrrrrr.
6. The feeling of being annoyed I dont like feeling like this I dont like feeling that I want to scream,cry .
I was thinking a nap would help but its to late maybe an early bedtime is in order
1. The 8 year old neighbor boy that has been here several times wanting J to go up and play we tried to explain to him that J just got home and we want to spend time and Pepper hasnt been walked. Finally we just gave up and let J go at least Pepper stopped barking.
2. S and her telling me no I so want to smack her mouth but I havent. Why do kids think its okay to tell parents no when it comes to chores?
3. Money and loss of Mikes job I have no control over this but it still annoys me while we are talking about jobs and loss of people on strike annoy me to dont they realize how lucky they are to have a job.
4. Mom in law I know that situation cant be helped but it seems so unfair that she isnt here she was suppose to see her grandkids graduate highschool, babies being born and come out and play wii with us after the cast came off.
5. Peppers barking I suspect now that the neighborhood brat is done knocking on the door she is done grrrrrr.
6. The feeling of being annoyed I dont like feeling like this I dont like feeling that I want to scream,cry .
I was thinking a nap would help but its to late maybe an early bedtime is in order
Friday, June 26, 2009
Safe and Sound and other mumblings
The boy is home safe and sound he made it a week of hard training and loved it I see a military career in his future. I told him platoon leader they need to start a dog training camp Pepper will be the first one signed up.
I have to add she did great this week cause Mike took her out and he has more strength then I do and will not allow her to go after the strays. But one has to defends ones yard right?
I ordered 6 months of contacts today for 90 dollars which is cheaper then the boys in this house I told them its nice to have eyes that are the same. And I have passed contact wearing week one with 3 minor incidents and two of them were today I lost a contact still havent found it and I scratched my left eye in the corner from an eyelash poking it he said I may not want to wear the contacts for a couple days but to see how it feels. So we will see.
I have to add she did great this week cause Mike took her out and he has more strength then I do and will not allow her to go after the strays. But one has to defends ones yard right?
I ordered 6 months of contacts today for 90 dollars which is cheaper then the boys in this house I told them its nice to have eyes that are the same. And I have passed contact wearing week one with 3 minor incidents and two of them were today I lost a contact still havent found it and I scratched my left eye in the corner from an eyelash poking it he said I may not want to wear the contacts for a couple days but to see how it feels. So we will see.
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