Rain

Summer has never really arrived here its been comfortable and a couple days of 80 plus temps with high humidity yesterday and today it has done nothing but rain.

I have sweats on today I am so sore from the rain I am ready for it to dry out. It didnt get above 60 today I have slept on and off all day and the heating pad feels so good on the back.

So I am wishes for dryer weather but probably wont happen for a couple days.

Hope everyone is safe and warm.

False alarm

Sigh no camera cord I believe I am going to buy one Tuesday. We have torn the computer desk apart looking for it. My theory is Pepper got hungry and ate it.

In other news Mike got a letter in the mail that says please call us you passed our initial pre hire scan and we would love for you to drive for us. I am ready for this ride to be over and the new ride to begin.

I think I can handle him being gone as long as the children cooperate. If not I have ducttape handy

Found

One Camera cord found pictures coming tomorrow (I promise) of previous hair and no glasses and new hair color.

Also the new furry member Ms. Peaches who is fitting in and acting like she has belonged here along. I would post them tonight but J took my camera to practice how to document pictures for 911 command and the fire dept.

Mike passed all of his tests and got fingerprinted today so just waiting for the federal government to declare him terrorist free cross your fingers and he has to have a passport which I hope is easy but its going to be expensive I am afraid.

Thats it for today

An day of driving and an answer to a question

I drove a lot today as soon as I can get the parallel parking down I will be ready to take my road test and be an unchaparoned driver I cant wait. I drove to several spots to do errands in the next town over and I did great I didn't make my sister in law nervous I drove on a busy road and through major construction did fine through the construction and kept up with traffic yaaaaaay some of this involved backing out of parking spaces and I even put gas in the car.

Okay my friend Lynilu at Never Ending Journey posted a question and I thought I would submit my answer here as its long. She asked if we were to pick a new place and career where and what would it be?

As some of you know I was born with a birth defect and its called Muscular Dystrophy. I have always wanted to be a social worker but it just wasnt in the cards as they say. I have always wanted to trade places with a "normal" person for one day. Then I got to thinking about it I have learned some lessons and have taught lessons to living with this blessing as I call it.

I have taught my children to be compassionate

which is something that I would not give up.

I learned that adults are not perfect and will try to change what they cant control (havent decided if this is good or bad).

I learned that gym class can suck major donkey toes till you find the right teacher that takes the time to teach me a different way and (actually passed gym 10,11,12 grade yaaaaay)

But I have taught others to be patient and understanding and its okay for little

kids to ask me why I walk slow or funny that is how they learn.

I dont have a problem promoting Jerrys kids or the MDA and think a lot of people should support there local Mda some equipment is expensive and especially kids need all the support and help living with this.

I learned that I dont have to have my house perfectly cleaned and if I am hurting its okay to sleep most of the day or tell Mike sorry love your cooking tonight. So in essence I learned its okay to take of myself without feeling guilty.

I have learned the Muscle Gods are fickle and easily ticked off.

So I may not be what I wanted to be but I wouldnt trade it for anything and normal somedays is overrated. Would I choose this path again if I could choose who knows I have learned and taught some very important lessons so that has to count for something. Do I have bad days yes but the good days out number the bad days and I am enjoying life (next year best be a little more enjoyable lol) So it sneaks in my head sometimes that I would trade it all in a heartbeat but I dont say that everyday and dont think about it everyday.

I hope this makes sense.

Someone needs a life

As I was sitting here flipping through the guide on the directv and not finding anything I wanted to watch and seeing a listing for Klondike Ice cream bars I thought boy directv needs a better line up I cant take anymore law and order or CSI the sad thing here is I flipped to the ice cream show.

I thought boy I need a life lol. But then I like the quietness of my life so I went back to the thought of Directv needs a better line up and settled on an old cartoon of Yogi the Bear see now we are back to I need a life.

I really need a life after blogging about this lol but again I like the quietness of my life its calmed down and we have a routine with Mike going to school and the kids getting ready to start in 8 days.

Orthodonist visit 6564

Today was an Orthodontist appt for S and he said something that made S very happy she is responding well to treatment so they may come off early that made her so happy. I also found out something else today the bands and chains that are pretty and colorful actually have a purpose other then making them fun.

The chains close gaps between the teeth and the bands that go on the brackets and help place the wire where they need to be.

Then we went to my brother in laws to hang out with my nephews and sister in law me and my sister in law have not been on the best of terms but I promised mom I would try to look out for my nephews and help Karen and what is in the past is in the past. It was a nice visit till Mike came and retrieved us.

I am going back in Wednesday where we will travel to Erie and try to get Mikes birth certificate.

Hope everyone is safe and happy.

TCM

We have a channel called TCM Turner Classic Movies on our Directv line up. We love it the kids and I have watched Herbie movies, The Apple Dumpling gang and they had a tribute to Mel Blanc and had a whole lot of older cartoons on it was wonderful.

Yesterday no one did anything to much and we watched TCM all day who was having a salute to Sterling Hayden my children commented how it was weird seeing movies in black and white and I was up till almost 2 watching a couple of his movies. I have on the dvr box Gone with the Wind for me and S to watch my mom in law was to come and watch it also as she never seen it but it never worked out so me and S will pop some popcorn and watch Clark Gable say "My dear I dont give a Damn".

School Progress

Mike took his permit test today to be able to start driving semi's he passed that part. He also went to take his hazmat test but couldn't cause he did not have his birth certificate with him after he takes that and passes he then needs to go to the state police barracks to be fingerprinted.

Then they will send the request to the federal government to make sure hes not a terrorist I told him it would be easier to prove he was one good lord.

Started my new medicine today I know that it wont work overnight but I am looking forward to it working.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Lyrics

Rio Diamond, In A Week Or Two Lyrics

Looking for Rio Diamond tabs and chords? Browse alphabet (above).

Artist: Diamond Rio Song: In A Week Or Two Album: Greatest Hits

Rio Diamond Sheet Music Rio Diamond CDs

In a week or two
I would have been ready
I would have known what to say
But I missed my chance
When the words "I love you"
Came just a little too late

In a week or two
I was gonna bring you diamonds
In a week or two
A long, long string of pearls and
We would've run down to the river at night
Sailed away, just me and you
In a week or two

A little more time
Was all I needed
But somehow Fall became Spring
But put off today
What you can do tomorrow
Sometimes you don't do a thing

In a week or two
I was gonna bring you diamonds
In a week or two
A long, long string of pearls and
We would've run down to the river at night
Sailed away, just me and you
In a week or two

These words in my heart never had a chance to be heard
But I'm telling you now for all that it's worth

In a week or two
I was gonna bring you diamonds
In a week or two
A long, long string of pearls and
We would've run down to the river at night
Sailed away, just me and you
In a week or two

[ More Diamond Rio Lyrics ]



Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do. With one more day with you

Chorus

Leave me wishing still for one more day
Leave me wishing still for one more day


These two songs were on a cd that I had burnt and grabbed for the ride and they said it all. How many of us wish for one more day with a loved one.

Medicine

I have been feeling really bad lately not in pain just bad crying and all that. Maybe that's why I haven't blogged about it I did mention that I was going to see my doctor about a counseling well I did and not a minute too soon yesterday and today have been awful tears over a toilet paper commercial is getting silly.

On my way to the drs office the tears started over a song that I love its an old song by Diamond Rio called in a week or two I am going to try to post the lyrics later anyways I told him about the tears and he said its time to start some anti depressives so after I answered some questions and asked some questions he is prescribing Paxil. I hope and pray this works and in 2 weeks after I have been on the paxil he will recommend a therapist.

I am so against taking medicine without trying other things I remember that everyone wanted me to start J on ADHD meds and I said no not till we try this and that and finally after we tried and the school tried we said okay maybe its time for medicine

This is hard to admit but I have thought about taking a whole bottle of medicine and that scares me I was telling my friend and my sister in law this and they said its normal its scary when you walk out in the kitchen to get the bottle. I dont like feeling like this I dont like the kids seeing me like this so its time to change and if the medicine will do this then I say bring it on.

He did say with all that has happened this year he would be depressed also which made me feel a tad better.

He also said that with the unemployment so high he has seen a lot of people for depression.

So we shall see

Energy Audit

I had an energy audit done on my house today. We did fairly well the electric company is going to replace our energy hogging fridge yaaaaaay. We do need to buy more power strips and rearrange somethings so when no one is on the desktop it can be shut off from the wall.

They will also be replacing the doors especially in the kitchen in January we need to replace the dishwasher Sears here I come. They were impressed with our little zoo. it was a productive day but I am ready for this day to end I went to bed around 5 was up around 10 so I am tired but my house is clean.

Busy weekend

This weekend seen me having my hair colored it turned out pretty good although everyone says its orange its not orange. It also seen me do night driving which is tricky in that you need to watch for drunks at bar and taverns deer and the whole dimming and undimming lights. We went to Mikes brother Garys and his wife and I looked for highlights to touch up the gray that I have seen to have acquired and I couldn't find any that I wanted so she talked me into a lighter shade of red that I think that looks great.

I have also decided in this past year and its many curves its thrown I am going to counseling it has hit me that Mike isn't going to be here all the time and other things in the back of my mind that I need to talk to someone with. Now I am praying my insurance will cover it.

I have to say it was weird not blogging these last two days but a great break. Hope everyone is well and had a great weekend.

Health Care thoughts

This issue is very emotional for me and we have great health insurance and have a great doctor it still matters to me to be honest it didn't much matter before May except we did want to be covered through COBRA because we thought our state coverage was not enough.

My mom in law didn't have health insurance after she retired but her doctor (same one we have) worked with her and got her meds through Walmart and seen her 6 months instead of the usual 4 till her medicare kicked in and it still wouldn't be easy for her she kept really good track of her sugar and watched her diet.

In 2000 they stopped at the house and said by the way your dad and I have made decisions Mike your in luck cause your the oldest and are in charge of everything and handed him papers they were their living wills and advanced directives and we want you to abide by our wishes and we became aware of what they wanted.

Although we didn't like what they decided we told them we would do as they wish my mom in law did not want cpr started no heroic measures at all no feeding tubes no tubes at all.

My sister in law stated that she would not obey the wishes when we were talking about this issue at a first aid cpr class we were taking. My mom in law stated that if Karen went against these wishes there would be hell to pay.

She always made us aware of what she wanted as loved ones passed we always joked with her that she was to stubborn to leave us and we needed her so she wasn't
going anywhere.

Fast forward to May when she wasn't feeling well for a couple days and we urged her to go the doctor she said no it would pass. My father in law put his foot down when she was clammy and sweating and took her to the er it wasn't a virus like she thought it was more serious it was pancrisitis and it caused her blood sugar to go way up then her kidneys shut down and it just got worse from there and she passed away a day before mothers day. She was 64 years old and had so many plans and so much life to live.

I implore everyone to talk to your elected officials not start riots not fear the government is out to kill us. Although I do believe medicare should pay for counseling to talk about the decisions before there is a crisis. In the state of Pa if you have a chance of recovery they can ignore your wishes which in this case they did when she coded. And talk to your loved ones about decisions and organ donation it was easy for Mike and his brothers and dad to agree what needed to be done cause they knew what mom wanted. Talk till your blue in the face even if they dont want to hear it it needs to be talked about.

This was a long post and I want to leave you with one more thought.

It was hard watching mom let go and we miss her terribly its heart breaking but its more heart breaking family fighting about what needs to be done or what ones wishes are.

Accomplished

I got major grocery shopping done there are a few things I forgot but will go back and get them and I walked today another thing accomplished. It was still a busy day there is nothing on my agenda for tomorrow other then to get my house in store for the energy audit on Monday.

Nothing else to report on and plans for the weekend are coming into view and on this list is practice parking.

Running around in circles

It seems like all I get done is coming and going it also seems like I am running around in circles today I had a few errands to do and it turned into an all day thing with stopping at Mcdonalds to pick up lunch for everyone I don't like doing that cause 1. Its expensive and 2 not all that healthy for one but the kids were happy.

I need to get grocery shopping done as there is nothing in the house to make a meal out of which is bad. I feel like there should be 2 of me . I came home to drop off lunch and the kids had not done any of their chores dishwasher hadn't been unloaded or loaded and they snap back cause I wasn't there to supervise. I am trying not to grump at them but come on they are 15 and 12 they should be able to do things without be told several times.

I haven't walked in two days and I miss that between being busy and the humidity summer decides to show up two weeks before school. So how does one make the time for ones self and trying to get everything else done that needs done?

I am tired its good to be tired and it keeps me out of trouble and thinking about things that I shouldn't think about. I did drive today scared my brother to death took a curve a little too fast and he gets mad if I drive above 50 but one needs to learn to travel with traffic.

I have people coming Monday to do an energy audit am I ready no I need to get S on cleaning her room I am afraid to go in cause I believe there is no floor in there.

I need to practice being more zen like and maybe life will slow down. One can hope right?

I swear I have the most stupidest insurance company in the world

On July 30th when I became a somewhat licensed driver in pa (meaning I can drive with a licensed driver) I called our insurance company and asked them to add me to Mikes policy and we upped from liability to comprehensive and collision just in case someone had an accident we should have had it anyways.

They told me congratulations and happy driving and that they would order my drivers history just to make sure there was nothing on there. I told them there would be nothing on there cause I had never driven but I understand that they cant take my word for it. So as y'all know I drove happily.

Then they called and said Mrs.Rice your coming back as invalid and we would like to order another one but continue to drive cause your covered. Three days later they called back to verify numbers and I assured them that my permit is valid and my numbers on my state I.D and the permit numbers match so it was not a mistake on the dmv's part.

That's where it starts to get interesting they told me that I could have coverage but they would have to charge me 35 dollars more for an invalid drivers license charge I said wait a minute your not allowed to drive on an invalid drivers license so why would you have a fee for it and she couldn't answer so I haven't been doing much driving.

So today I called the dmv and they assured me I was valid and he would fax something to the insurance company stating this. I said fine he did and the stupid insurance company calls me and tells me maam your allowed to drive its just that we require you to have your drivers license in 30 days so by Aug 30 th I would have to have it or be dropped.

So I called them all angry and doing my most zen and polite voice I said you guys told me that if I drive Mikes car then its not covered so I haven't been driving. I kind of demanded an extension and she said let me talk to my supervisor and they extended so I am allowed to drive again and I will have my license by the middle of Sept.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm picture me in a mediation state all zen like.

A new day

Yesterday we went for a second walk and I didn't do the whole mile so I did half a mile and sat and watched the water for a while and I just had a calm feeling come over me I don't know that I ever will be okay with mom leaving but I suspect over time it will get easier and when its hard I think I will go to the dam and sit and just watch the water.

Mike started classes today and he is tired but he thinks he is going to enjoy this new direction in his life and my children are still alive so I think it was a good day all in all.

3 Months

Today is 3 month anniversary of moms passing as I look back on the 3 months I see good and bad. I remember blogging days after and explaining we were numb I can say today I miss numb. But I know that one has to hurt to heal.

I know healing doesn't come overnight and I know that this emptiness in my heart will be there for the rest of my time she cant be replaced and I don't want her replaced.

Yesterday on our drive to our family reunion there was a song that was played over the radio and this song was a huge hit in the 80s and its called You Don't Know What You Have Till Its Gone and the group is Cinderella and I know that they were signing about heartache and the loss of a relationship I turned to my cousin and said boy isn't this the truth you don't know what you have till its gone meaning a relationship or the loss of a loved one.

In another 3 months I hope to look back at this and say I miss her less. I hope to say my heart is healed a little more I hope to say I can understand why God choose to take her to heaven my brother in law and I were talking about that the other day and he said the way that he looks at it is They needed someone of Moms character to brighten the place up. My mom tells me not question it just accept it.
So I guess another goal I should have is to accept the decision that she went to heaven.

I want to state clearly that I understand the decision that the boys and Dad made to end life support I supported that decision.

Okay that is all I have to say it was hard typing this post my thoughts were all over the place. Thanks for reading

The past

This morning I found myself in a Walmart in a city that I lived and went to school(
a little history )after my mom told me I couldn't live at home anymore and when she told me this lovely news I was dating a guy who had two little children and was going through a divorce not the best decision now that I look back on it but I say you have to experience the bad love to appreciate the good love.

Well this guy and I were engaged but i wasn't sure about that decision so I kept delaying and then one night he smacked me it wasn't hard but it was enough to open my eyes and I called the engagement off and broke up with him. Although my heart hurt I knew this was the best. One of my biggest pet peeves is domestic violence.

This morning as I said in the beginning I found myself in Walmart getting supplies for our family reunion in my little cart I heard a voice that said hello stranger and I knew without looking who it was. He said long time no see I said yep almost 14 years of long time no see. He asked how many children I had and if I was still married ( did I mention my wedding ring set is unwearable at the moment) I answered 2 and yes still married to the same guy he asked how long I said 17 years. He asked did Mike treat me well and I said yes he did.

I asked about him and he said that he has a girlfriend they have been together for about 12 years and he said something to me that amazed me he said he was sorry for the way he acted and that he made a big mistake he doesn't go a day without realizing what a mistake he made and said I have never hit another woman.

I never for a minute regretted marrying Mike I never regretted breaking off the previous engagement if I could go back and tell myself something it would be to be aware of this guy as I look back on it it was not a good relationship and it was not a relationship that I should have been in.

He asked if I had a good life and I answered besides the few bumps we have had this year yes I love my life even the bumps has taught me lessons. It was nice talking with him and he did ask if me and Mike would join him and his girlfriend for dinner sometime and I said no not really I want the past to stay in the past I am not the same person I was back then and truthfully he is not someone that I see myself being friends with. But its nice to know that I opened his eyes and its nice to know that I stopped someone from abusing women by stopping it from happening to me.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend

I was bad

I have been bad today I didn't walk I didn't put in my contacts I did shower (that in its self is a blessing). Mike asked if I was feeling okay and I said yeah I just didn't want to do anything so my bum has been on the loveseat most of the day surfing and just vegging out.

I did cook supper and I made a discovery today I don't like my glasses as much as I thought I did. I walked up to the school to pick up J's fundraising tickets and signed the form I would be responsible for them they are for country fair stores if anyone is interested let me know.

See what else is going on Mike did walk yaaay for him. Thats about it was a good day and I don't feel bad.

Tomorrow will be busy.

Pay off (I think)

Monday my wonderful husband is to start classes Monday August 10th. He is excited and nervous at the same time I am excited for him he has always wanted to drive truck but gave it up to help me with the kids when they were young although he will miss us and we will miss him its time he gets to do something that he has always wanted to do and this I think will be good for our family.

I walked 2 miles today Mike did 4 I am so proud of him for taking this seriously and his sugar is going down he has been drinking tons of water with sugar free mixes we have always used splenda in tea but we think something in the tea was causing his sugar to be high. While I always try to eat healthy we have made more changes such as wheat bread and when I make bread I will be making it with wheat germ or wheat flour if I can find it. I make my bread without sugar if anyone is interested in how this works leave a comment or email me at redfrog27@yahoo.com or marlrice@verizon.net.

I finally tracked down the lady at career links then I had a talk with Ms S about her message taking skills. J has had band camp this week and is just worn out he has happy tonight when he got the message that fire school had been canceled tonight.

The kids start school Sept 2nd I cant think of anything else going on tomorrow seems like its going to be a calm day nothing on the schedule except walking.

I want off this crazy ride

Between the learning how to drive, parallel parking was attempted today and we still need to work on this. The various loops that we are jumping through for Mikes school and my family reunion coming up on Saturday ,walking I am not sure if we are coming or going could someone please help me or shoot me your choice.

We keep playing phone tag with various school officials, career links, drs offices. and my cousin April my co planner on the reunion, my mom who thinks I am avoiding her and my sister in law Karen and Mikes dad. If my lovely daughter tells me one more time that Career links called and I or Mike need to call them back then has no clue who to ask for I think I will scream then ban her from answering the phone at least then they will have to speak to the answering machine and hopefully will leave their name and extension so I don't spend a hour tracking down people.

A note to weatherization people if you call and set up a time to do an energy audit and I cancel appts to make you fit and you call back and cancel and ask if this date would be better I may hurt yall. Twice they have done that.

On top of all that I need to make sure J turned in fundraising stuff for marching band and dog detail cause of band camp this week. Lets see what else I think thats about it see you would want off this crazy ride also.

I miss blogging and reading other blogs. I will get caught up soon ( I hope)

Why I didnt blog yesterday

Yesterday started out harmlessly enough got up and showered did the contact thing and did some errands then it was time for Mikes drs appt which didnt go quite like we expected his sugars are too high if he doesnt get them down then it will be insulin and he cant drive.

The dr said you need to exercise to bring the sugar down and that is what we did but let me back up a little I drove yesterday from Conneaut Lake home doing 45 to 60 with Mike saying slow down he told my brother he sees speeding tickets in my future. Can I just state its hard not to go fast with the wind blowing in your hair and great music on the radio lol.

Okay back to the excerise portion of the blog we came home and grabbed Buford and walked a local dam someday I will remember to take the camera with me and take picutres it is absolutly breathtaking view. Mike did the brisk 2 mile walk thing me and Buford did the Mile thing at our own pace less me and less Buford would be great the three months sitting on the loveseat did not help my waistline at all.

It felt great then we went to Mikes brothers for a late supper. Which was fairly healthy and grilled. I felt great after the walk the foot didnt hurt I got up this morning and my hip was bothering me but me and S and Buford walked the mile again and Mike and Pepper did the 2 mile walk I told Mike he did resistance training with Pepper wanting to do other things.

I did not drive today for one thing I took tramadol and I dont dare drive with that and Second I hurt kind of and I dont want to drive when I dont feel well I figure I will feel better after I get used to walking again can I just say it felt great to get out and moving.

Driving take 2

Today I drove our car which is a caviliar with Mike I figured he would have me a nervous wreck time we got home I drove about 10 miles with traffic I did fine this time I also went a little faster.

Mike was calm and the only thing he said to me was to keep my speed up need to move with traffic but not go over the speed limit. The only time he paniced is when I almost took out my brothers car and the garage hey I know that we need to work on parking I will admit that.

Onto Ms Peaches (still have not found my camera cord) S has a pair of slippers that are white grey and black and Peaches suckles and kneads them it is so funny we call the one not the momma the other cats are starting to interact with her and I think everyone will be just fine. We were offered three more kittens that the family cant keep and the shelters are full we said sorry but no. As much as I would love to we just cant I cant shell out another 500 dollars to get animals spayed or neutred. Some months its hard enough just to keep a roof over everyones head furry and otherwise.

Tomorrows post Social Security and Unemployment mistakes it should be interesting with a lot of 4 letter words that start with the letter f and I dont mean fire.

Brothers and A Birthday dinner

Today is my moms birthday and since we were busy on moms day dealing with a loss I didnt get to do much for her on moms day so I said hey mom lets go to erie your favorite restraunt. We were suppose to go Friday but she was busy.

I cant go tomorrow have other things on my list so at 5 ( a little late) we headed out to my moms and I didnt drive cause my other brother Ken was upset that I wasnt there yet so bubba the other brother drove super fast with Ken calling and yelling I got to the point that I said to Ken quit yelling at me or you will find yourself in next week a couple days early dont take the attitude from my husband not going to take it from you.

He calmed down a little and got up there and I was prepared to pay for mine and moms but Ken paid for them all. Maybe he felt guilty for his attitude earlier.

Tomorrow I hope to get to drive more I enjoyed yesterdays little adventure I did not drive in Erie or on the interstate nor home not ready for that adventure yet.

Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend