3 Months

Today is 3 month anniversary of moms passing as I look back on the 3 months I see good and bad. I remember blogging days after and explaining we were numb I can say today I miss numb. But I know that one has to hurt to heal.

I know healing doesn't come overnight and I know that this emptiness in my heart will be there for the rest of my time she cant be replaced and I don't want her replaced.

Yesterday on our drive to our family reunion there was a song that was played over the radio and this song was a huge hit in the 80s and its called You Don't Know What You Have Till Its Gone and the group is Cinderella and I know that they were signing about heartache and the loss of a relationship I turned to my cousin and said boy isn't this the truth you don't know what you have till its gone meaning a relationship or the loss of a loved one.

In another 3 months I hope to look back at this and say I miss her less. I hope to say my heart is healed a little more I hope to say I can understand why God choose to take her to heaven my brother in law and I were talking about that the other day and he said the way that he looks at it is They needed someone of Moms character to brighten the place up. My mom tells me not question it just accept it.
So I guess another goal I should have is to accept the decision that she went to heaven.

I want to state clearly that I understand the decision that the boys and Dad made to end life support I supported that decision.

Okay that is all I have to say it was hard typing this post my thoughts were all over the place. Thanks for reading